Writing is my way of expression. It's the way I clear and mend my thoughts out of the crazy complexities. I have chosen not to write for the past few weeks because I've been absolutely broken and confused. Typically, that's when the majority of my writing should take place, but I pushed it off because I didn't really want to face what my future has in store for me and writing it now just makes it that much more real. With that said, I will be taking a semester of from PLNU.
Most people know that I will be taking a semester off, but only few really know why. I've been trying to convince myself that I am confident and okay with this decision, but the truth is, I am really afraid. If you're reading this and I told you it was because I just wanted to knock out the rest of my GE's, while that is true, the story goes deeper.
Point Loma was everything I ever dreamed. I love the sense of community, I love the wonderful people I met, and I love how much I've grown because of Loma. One thing I learned while I was at Loma was that I have this mentality of a fixer. I feel like it is my obligation to fix and help everyone and everything that is going on around me. I get so lost in this fixation that I neglect to fix myself, and I fail to see when I need to put myself and my needs first.
With events and obstacles that were thrown at me during my freshman year, that problem surfaced, and by the time I tried to do something about this problem, it was just to late. I was so mixed up in trying to fix everyone else that I drove myself to a point where I just couldn't handle life. So after long days and nights of tears, confusion, and prayer, the decision was made. Two women that I love and admire thought it was in my best interest to learn to take care of myself as well. So that's that. I will be out of Loma and into Mesa for one semester.
It's taken a lot of coping and I'm still dealing with the everything that's been throw at me, it hasn't been easy by any means, but I know that I am strong and I know that God will guide me through this change, and I WILL be back at Loma.
I know it's only a semester, but when I think back to the two semesters I've already spent at Loma, a semester is a long time. It's a long time of no caf lane, it's long time of no Time Out, it's a long time of no chapel, it's a long time of separation from my wonderful sisters, and it's a long time of no beautiful, unique community that I found.
In the next few months, I am going to strive to truly understand what it means to put myself first, which is something that I've never done, and I am going to count down the days until I return to Loma.
For now I will hold the photographs and memories close to my heart. Following is a series of pictures that will forever remind me of the family that I've gained during my freshman year at Loma.
Most people know that I will be taking a semester off, but only few really know why. I've been trying to convince myself that I am confident and okay with this decision, but the truth is, I am really afraid. If you're reading this and I told you it was because I just wanted to knock out the rest of my GE's, while that is true, the story goes deeper.
Point Loma was everything I ever dreamed. I love the sense of community, I love the wonderful people I met, and I love how much I've grown because of Loma. One thing I learned while I was at Loma was that I have this mentality of a fixer. I feel like it is my obligation to fix and help everyone and everything that is going on around me. I get so lost in this fixation that I neglect to fix myself, and I fail to see when I need to put myself and my needs first.
With events and obstacles that were thrown at me during my freshman year, that problem surfaced, and by the time I tried to do something about this problem, it was just to late. I was so mixed up in trying to fix everyone else that I drove myself to a point where I just couldn't handle life. So after long days and nights of tears, confusion, and prayer, the decision was made. Two women that I love and admire thought it was in my best interest to learn to take care of myself as well. So that's that. I will be out of Loma and into Mesa for one semester.
It's taken a lot of coping and I'm still dealing with the everything that's been throw at me, it hasn't been easy by any means, but I know that I am strong and I know that God will guide me through this change, and I WILL be back at Loma.
I know it's only a semester, but when I think back to the two semesters I've already spent at Loma, a semester is a long time. It's a long time of no caf lane, it's long time of no Time Out, it's a long time of no chapel, it's a long time of separation from my wonderful sisters, and it's a long time of no beautiful, unique community that I found.
In the next few months, I am going to strive to truly understand what it means to put myself first, which is something that I've never done, and I am going to count down the days until I return to Loma.
For now I will hold the photographs and memories close to my heart. Following is a series of pictures that will forever remind me of the family that I've gained during my freshman year at Loma.
Love you tons N3N
Trying To Be Serious
Weird Love!
Freshman!
Freshies Hug
Sophomores!
Sophomores Are Crazy!
N3N <3>
